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Mar 14: Credit Crunch explain in beer terms

THE FINANCIAL CRISIS EXPLAINED IN SIMPLE TERMS:

· Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin.

· In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later.

· She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

· Word gets around, and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood Into Heidi's bar.

· Taking advantage of her customers' freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages.

Her sales volume increases massively.

· A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit.

· He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.

· At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS.

· These securities are then traded on markets worldwide.

· No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed.

· Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.

· One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently, of course, fired due to his negativity) of the bank decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar.

· However they cannot pay back the debts.

· Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy. DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95%.

· PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80%.

· The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation.

· Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.

· The bank is saved by the government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties.

· The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers.


· Finally, an explanation we understand.

Posted by Andy Rambling in Humour Comments: (0) Trackbacks: (0)
Defined tags for this entry: history, Humour, Jokes, News - UK, News - USA

Mar 8: Escape concept not quite understood.

Most criminals who get caught are not always the brightest sparks, well they got caught? isn't that a give away ? So here's this bright spark (well a dim one, but there is a spark there) He has a master plan, he needs to get out of the hell hole that a state prison in Georgia, USA Not Georgia in the Caucasu. Anyway, he's got this plan, Escape! It works very well, he gets out, he's a free man! Nobody say him do a runner. Brilliant, pure genius! 

This is where the real plan fails, he was out of cigarettes, he was so desperate to get some, he hatched the escape plan, got out, and raided a local store, no he didn't pay for the ciggies, no he stole them, so far so not bright spark!

The spark has now just gone out! He master plan was to escape the prision, raid a local store for a few cartages of ciggies, then try and creep back in. Yep, he got caught when he was creeping back in with the swag of ciggies. Genius!

You don't think this is true ? well it's all here on the good old BBC, here from the Huffington post.

I'll put this down as Escape Fail!

Posted by Andy Rambling in News - USA Comments: (0) Trackbacks: (0)
Defined tags for this entry: news - usa, only in america, stupid things

Nov 5: Winds of Change

It's been a long night, an even longer nightmare for the world, 8 years to be exact. Thanks to the youth of the USA, who have woken up, were inspired,  that they can change their president, that they can change the world, that they have the power to make changes. Thanks for making the change. Only on the 20th of Jan 2009 will we all wake up from the nightmare that was George W Bush. Someone who just couldn't, shouldn't have taken the role of president. I have always believed that he was actually a puppet. and Dick Chaney was the real president.

Lessons to be learnt? That religion and politics really do not mix, I don't have problem with people believing in religion, I'm pretty agnostic, but believe, let live, we all share this small planet somewhere in what we know as the universe, so why can't we, you know, just get along? Naive maybe, but we really do only have one planet. 

Anyway, enough of my ramblings, just super glad that Obama has won. There was a song that came out at the time of the fall of the Berlin Wall. I think it's a good one for today, maybe the lyrics aren't 100% correct, but the feeling is most certainly there.

 

Posted by Andy Rambling in News - USA Comments: (0) Trackbacks: (0)
Defined tags for this entry: elections, history, News - USA, obama, voting

Oct 25: Wasssup man!

Wassup 2008 style, keep it real!

 

 Hopefully, the folks on the otherside of the pond also want change, by the looks of it, the do.

Posted by Andy Rambling in News - USA Comments: (0) Trackbacks: (0)
Defined tags for this entry: news - usa, politics

Mar 29: I had a Dream. Another one

I had yet another dream

Yep, Say no more, as I said, I had a dream. There are of course a few other folks I would like to see in that behind bars.

Posted by Andy Rambling in Entertainment Comment: (1) Trackbacks: (0)
Defined tags for this entry: bush, News - USA

Apr 21: Wrong place at the wrong time

So said Bush, at the memorial cermony at Viginia Tech? No, They were in the right place, in their classes, in college, doing what helps to make the US a greater place? Yes, Mr Bush, it's you who put your stupid big foot in your village idiot gob.

I suppose you come up with the same statement with Soldiers you sent to Iraq? Well, The sooner you leave the safer the world will become, you poodle buddy Blair is leaving his desk in under 2 months, and most likely after a disaster for the labour party in the May elections. Incidently, England, is one of those places where you don't really know that elections are if you are just passing through, It seems to be a very hush hush affair, some leaflets sent to you, no big meetings, no big debates. Anyway, enough on that. I'm just happy that Blair will be gone soon, mind, I don't think I'm gonna think much of the Next guy, A certain Mr Brown.

Posted by Andy Rambling in News - UK, News - UK, News - USA, News - USA Comments: (0) Trackbacks: (0)
Defined tags for this entry: bush, news - usa, politics, tony blair

Jun 7: Finally some sense from the US

A week ago, George W Bush proposed a motion to ban same sex marriages to Congress, the  was to amend the constitution to make same sex marriages illegal. Luckily it didn't get past the first hurdle. only 48 senators voted for it, there is a requirement to have 60 to allow the motion to be carried forward.
President George W Bush had backed the ban, saying marriage between a man and a woman was the most fundamental institution of civilisation.
Quite frankly I don't know where the stupid prat gets the motion that the requirement of a Man & a Women was the best for a child's up keep and support. How about all those single parents, Male or female? What's more important is that the child has an emotionally secure home, we they a protected and helped to learn to survive, protected from abuse, some husband and wife relationships don't offer either...
Mr Bush recently said: "Ages of experience have taught us that the commitment of a husband and a wife to love and to serve one another promotes the welfare of children and the stability of society."

"An amendment to the constitution is necessary because activist courts have left our nation with no other choice."

A constitutional amendment needs two-thirds support in both the House and the Senate. A similar measure was defeated in 2004.
Source
I like the line, Ages of Experience... I think his parents were OK, but I don't think that the Bush family can lecture us on producing stable children, after all, didn't George get involved with booze and drugs as a young man? His own children have a history of drink and bad behaviour.
So lets hope that this motion will never make it through during the time of this administration. I applaud the 'activist' Keep it up and let sanity reign.
Posted by Andy Rambling in News - USA, News - USA Comments: (0) Trackbacks: (0)
Defined tags for this entry: News - USA

Jun 1: Bush troubled by Haditha report

When he says 'troubled' he what is he really thinking, or should I say, what are his neo-con buddies thinking. More like, oh shit we tried to keep the lid on this, we have badly press managed this issue. so we had better get our puppet to sound 'troubled' So Bush says this..
If, in fact, these allegations are true, the Marine Corps will work hard to make sure that... those who violated the law - if indeed they did - will be punished," Mr Bush told a press conference in Washington.
Source
lets have a second look at that statement.

'Those Who violated the Law'

Which Law? If he is International Law, then they haven't done anything wrong what's so ever, as we all know, the US isn't signatory to the international courts so as far as Bush is concerned, on a legal ground, he's fine and has nothing to worry about. and will try and find a way to get it off the headlines and quick

The problem is, the rest of the world doesn't think that way at all. I think that what will happen with the marines involved, is that will be taken home, told to shut up and live a nice life.

Well, the only thing left is for the people of the US to not to support the Bush bandwagon in the November mid-terms.

Bush is part of the problem, not the solution!
Posted by Andy Rambling in News - USA, News - USA Comments: (0) Trackbacks: (0)
Defined tags for this entry: News - USA

May 19: An Interesting Way

An Anti-war protester found a very novel way to protest against the war in Iraq. No he didn't run around the White House in the nude, or did he gate crash some press conference where Bush was chatting about nothing. No he found a very novel way, The US army has a website that it uses as a recruitment tool. So what's on this website? Well you can play at being a soldier, get the feel of being in battle, and yes, get your head blown off as well, but you don't die, your playing in the safety of your living room.

I (Joseph DeLappe ) enter the game using as my login name, "dead-in-iraq" and proceed to type the names using the game's text messaging system. As is my usual practice when creating such an intervention, I am a neutral visitor as I do not particate in the proscribed mayhem. Rather, I stand in position and type until I am killed. Upon being re-incarnated I continue to type.

As of 5/18/06 , I have input 361 names. I intend to keep doing so until the end of this war. As of 5/18/06 there have been 2,458 American service persons killed in Iraq. (source - http://icasualties.org/oif/)

"America's Army" is the online recruiting game and PR tool of the United States Army.

Images that Joseph took while 'playing' the game:
Click on Images to enlarge. Images will Load in Pop up window
       
       
       
Click on Images to enlarge. Images will Load in Pop up window

You may or may not have noticed if you look on the top right on some of the images, that there is a cheat server for the guys to play, I'm guessing that this one is the 'ignores the Geneva Convention' mode
Other sites of interest:

Actual fatalities     : http://icasualties.org/oif/
America's Army    : http://www.americasarmy.com/
Other site:

GamePolitics.com
Terranova.blogs.com
Livejournal.com(notsuchpatriot)
Rhizome.org
We make money not art
http://www.selectparks.net/

Posted by Andy Rambling in News - USA, News - USA, Only In America, Only In America Comments: (3) Trackbacks: (0)
Defined tags for this entry: News - USA, Only In America

May 9: The Truth Hurts Sometimes *UPDATE*

The letter that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Iranian President)  sent to  Bush, appears to 'attack' him, What I say, is that it's most likely just telling Bush some home truths, that all the Arab world knows and knew he was lying. There is no escaping that fact.

Things getting better? How do we know that? No international reporter will leave the green zone as they know that they will be targets for the warring factions for kidnapping and/or killed., The only way we in the west have to get a snippet is by the Iraqi reporters, Bloggers, and video reporters. These people risk their lives on a daily basis to try and give us some news from with in the Red zone, this is anywhere outside of the green zone. Which I would say is 99.99999% of the rest of the country.

So what does this letter say? All 18 pages of it? That I don't think will ever get published unless the Iranians make it public, but then the US will say something along the lines of, It's a fake, it's not what was said etc...
Here are some snippets (from the BBC)
"Lies were told in the Iraqi matter," Reuters news agency quoted the letter as saying. "What was the result? I have no doubt that telling lies is reprehensible in any culture."
The president also questioned the creation of Israel, asking "how can this phenomenon be rationalised or explained?", Reuters reported.
From the New York Times there is an expanded view on the Isreal issue.
"Again let us assume that these events are true," he wrote about the Holocaust. "Does that logically translate into the establishment of the state of Israel in the Middle East or support for such a state?"
"A regime has been established which does not show mercy even to kids, destroys houses while the occupants are still in them, announces beforehand its list and plans
to assassinate Palestinian figures and keeps thousands of Palestinians in prison," the letter says. Source
Read More
Posted by Andy Rambling in News - USA, News - USA Comment: (1) Trackbacks: (0)
Defined tags for this entry: News - USA

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