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THE FINANCIAL CRISIS EXPLAINED IN SIMPLE TERMS:
· Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin.
· In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later.
· She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).
· Word gets around, and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood Into Heidi's bar.
· Taking advantage of her customers' freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages.
Her sales volume increases massively.
· A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit.
· He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.
· At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS.
· These securities are then traded on markets worldwide.
· No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed.
· Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.
· One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently, of course, fired due to his negativity) of the bank decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar.
· However they cannot pay back the debts.
· Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy. DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95%.
· PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80%.
· The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation.
· Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.
· The bank is saved by the government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties.
· The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers.
· Finally, an explanation we understand.
Jan 24: BBC Refusal to broadcast Gaza Appeal
The DEC are organising a campaign for the victims of the Israeli attacks on Gaza. However, The BBC refuses to broadcast this as it may affect it's 'Impartiality'. WTF? has Olmart called the Director General of the BBC like he did George Bush to prevent a UN resolution?
By the looks of it, the BBC has been spoken to by Israeli supporters and have been brought shame on what is supposed to be a bastion of Truth, fairness and honest reporting. Israel says there is no disaster, that they 'only' killed Hamas supporters. I will leave Tony Benn to take on the rest. Watch the Video below. Shame on the BBC.
Israel, is on the wrong side of the fence this time round. All the empathy of the Haulocast has been used up. It can no longer be used as a tool to allow Israel to attack the people of Gaza. Oh, did I not tell you, Hamas were voted in, in an election that was sponsored by the US. Democracy Bush style!

Looking at the response by BBC's chief operating officer Caroline Thomson, it appears that, as the BBC was one of the only news organisations allowed access into Gaza during the conflict, it was allowed to with caveats, one being, I'm guessing, that it should not report, support, transmit any new reports about the 'disaster'. That it should not support or appear to support Hamas. The problem is, this is a Humanitarian crisis, not a politico propaganda one. Israel has lost the propaganda war. It was far to obvious to be believable.
Here's the link 'Intelligence insulting' response for the head huncho of the BBC, Mark Thompson. He is imply that we are not smart enough, that the charities are not smart enough to make sure that the monies go to those who need it, Now, Just fuck off Mark. Resign to big lump of shit.
Jan 7: There is probably no God
So says a big banner on a lot of new London buses. This is a campaign the British Humanist Association .
The campaign, which is supported by the British Humanist Association and BHA Vice President Richard Dawkins, and in Scotland by the Humanist Society of Scotland, is a response to a series of evangelical Christian adverts running on buses in June 2008, which featured the URL of a website saying all non-Christians were going to hell. Comedy writer Ariane Sherine suggested the rational, positive slogan to reassure people who may have been scared by the evangelical adverts.
This campaign is, in my view important, as quoted. If religious nutters can go around and tell everyone who doesn't believe in their view of the world you don't have the right to be on this planet. quite frankly these people are part of the problem of why things like world peace can never be achieved. Though they go around saying that the love their neighbour, wll they do, as long as your not, this that or the other, as long as you agree with them. So, here's one bus with Richard Dawkins.
If you want to see more images, you can click on the link below.
Feb 15: OK, here in the UK we got rid of him
Yes, we got rid of him, rather he buggered of with the longest good bye. Rather boring 40 days, but we were happy to see the back of him. Who's he, I hear you ask? You mean you don't know? It was our lovely (puke) leader, Tony Blair. Now, we the voters of the UK didn't have the pleasure of kicking him out, he buggered of to Save the middle east!? Save the middle east? for crying out load, he made a bad situation worse than before. Not only has he not been very good at bringing peace to the middle east.
So why am I talking about this political loser? Well, some people in the EU, think he is just the man to take up a newly created job of 'President of the Europpean Union' Jesus! How bleedin' mad are they ? the least you can do, is sign a petiton to tell the Euro MP's saying that really shouldn't allow a person who believes that the voices in his head is God!
So, click in the image and sign the petition.
Oh and to read more about it go to this site www.stopblair.eu.
Apr 27: Call to stop children's drinking.
So says the headline. This is Alcohol Concern's attempt to try and stop the problem with underage drinking.
Parents who give alcohol to children aged under 15 should be prosecuted, a charity has said.
The call comes in an Alcohol Concern report on the government's Alcohol Harm Reduction Strategy.
The study highlights figures that suggest a large increase in the amount of alcohol drunk by 11 to 13-year-olds.
Alcohol Concern also wants a 16% rise in alcohol taxes, a ban on brewers selling to retailers at a loss, and a crackdown on under-age alcohol sales.
'Stronger message'
The charity would include meal times at home in the ban on giving alcohol to young people.
Frank Soodeen, a campaigns officer for Alcohol Concern, said: "We are facing a new social reality where children seem to be adopting older behaviour at a younger age.
What get's me is this? Why this obsession with sending people to jail for silly things, considering that drinking a glass of wine (or two) diluted with water for young children,
The problem with drink in the UK is that it's acceptable to get drunk, it's acceptable that you black out, it's acceptable that you throw your guts up, it's also quite acceptable to have a massive hangover the next day.
Personally, when I was growing up, you were shunned if you did any of the above, you were giggled at the next day, it was sort of a dis-honour so to speak to loose control of yourself.
So, that's the route of the problem, it's a cultural problem, it's an educational problem and where should you have the best education? yes, At home!
Jan 7: Tabloid Press
What got me to write this entry, is the way in which they go around to sort of legitimise their methods, Yes, they will try and contact you, they will send you a car to collect you for a photo shoot.
The tactics they use, in particular a certain Nicholas Hellen to are downright despicable, they way he outed 'Abbey Lee' the blogger behind Girl with a one-track mind One just has to look at the e-mail Nicholas Hellen set to Abbey. To quote some lines:
We have matched up the dates of films you have worked on - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Batman Begins and Lara Croft Tomb Raider - and it is clear that they correlate to your blog. We have obtained your birth certificate, and details about where you went to school and college.The fact that they have been getting hold of her birth certificate and I can assume, trying to contact her old school friends to get some 'quotes' about her when she was at school. It's the way the gutter press work and for me, another reason why we need better laws protecting the personal privacy of everyone.
We propose to publish the fact that you are 33 and live in [my address] -London, and that your mother, [her name], is a [her address] -based [her profession]. The article includes extracts from your book and blog, relevant to your career in the film industry. We also have a picture of you, taken outside your flat.
There was no way Abbey could have prevented the Sunday Times from publishing the story.
So, to Nicholas Hellen and the 'investigative/stalker journalist like you are not worth anything, you don't provide news, you don't even know what it is. You sit in your office, getting it off seeing who's life you can piss off now.
Anyway, that's my rant over for today.
Oct 1: This made me laugh
Tesco is to launch a range of budget own-brand PC software, in a move that will pitch the grocery giant against the likes of Microsoft and Symantec.Now I would have taken that seriously if Tesco was also producing an Operating System then I would have had a second look.
Tesco said it would offer six packages, including office software, security systems and a photo editing tool.
Britain's biggest retailer said each title would cost less than £20, challenging what it described as the current "high" price of PC software.
I decided to have a look to see what they were selling. what software packages. I looked up Formjet Plc. They are a holding company for a group of companies.
Six trading units which currently make up the Formjet group are described in detail on a dedicated area of this site These are . . .Read More
- Panda Software (UK) distributes Panda Software antivirus and security products in the UK.
- Ability Software International distributes a powerful suite of office products.
- FileStream (UK) is involved in applications ranging from the backup of computer resources to highly sophistcated graphics solutions.
- Software Dialog UK is a specialist security reseller to the corporate marketplace.
- South Coast Distribution is an established supplier to the OEM market.
- Ideal Innovations.co.uk is an online marketplace. It services the electronic trading requirements of the Formjet Group and third party vendors.
Sep 9: Mr Gnome, your nicked
You see it's disturbing the neighbour(s) a bit, well one neighbour who happens to be a retired member of her majesties constabulary how happens to be trying to sell his house. No doubt to sun of his retirement in the sunny version of England, yep that's Costa del Crime? or is it Costa Brava or somewhere similar. Where there are more English that Spandiards.
Anyway, the owner, a certain Mr MacKillop.
The local bobbies decided that they should server notice to him at a very social hour of mid-night!
Why they couldn't have done it during they day, like tea time, when all good serving English person will be having their cuppa I don't know.
Mr MacKillop, 46, was woken in the night by two officers who warned him that the gnome was offensive to his neighbours.All I can say, is there has been a wee bit of :
The notice, under the Protection From Harassment Act 1997, also accuses Mr MacKillop of intimidating potential buyers of Mr McLean's £209,000 cottage.
Mr McLean has told officers that the garden gnome, which comes complete with police dog and solar light, was in an "annoying position".
Mr MacKillop denied having harassed house-hunters viewing his neighbour's property.
Mr MacKillop, a marine surveyor at Devonport Dockyard, said: "When you hear a knock at the door at quarter to midnight you don't expect to be served with that.
- A: Abuse of Police powers (Mid-night for some really baddy, not over a Gnome)
- B: I would like to see this going to a court!
Aug 31: It's taken a while, but better late than never
Chris Rudge, managing director of UK Transplant, said the wishes of approximately one in 10 possible donors were overturned by their families under the current system.From next week, the system will be changing, if you signed up, yes sign up here, your wishes will be respected.
Ok, I am totally aware that this is an emotive subject, but there are people here in the UK who are waiting for a life changing transplant, and believe me, I know it's life changing, I've had 3 kidney transplants, and believe me, I do think of the donor families and the loss that they have had for me to live on.
All I can say is this, if you do sign up, don't keep it to yourself, tell your family, tell your friends, and most of all tell your loved ones. It makes it so much easier for them, if they know that you wanted to donate.
Oh did I tell you? You can register to the UK transplant list here. They also allow your to amend you details.
As some slogan went, You don't need to go to heaven with all your organs, as they are sure to hell needed down here.
Ok that's it, that's my public announcement over. I don't need to advise you... Read More
Aug 17: Ever seen?
A man has attempted to set a new world record by launching more than 55,000 fireworks in just five seconds. Roy Lowry wanted to beat the existing record of 39,210 at the National Fireworks Championships in Plymouth.So you want to see what it's like letting of 55,000 fireworks in 5 secs?
Well It's not an almighty bang, nope, it's 55,000 small ones going of at the same time!
You can see it all here thanks to the BBC. Make sure your sound isn't too high...
Aug 5: Major Flaw in Proposed RFID Passports
Practical for stores, to track their stock, but once it's bought, is the things turned off? Do I know, not really. I just have to trust the cashier has deactivated it. That's all I have.
Back to ID cards, yes, RFID is usefull, all you have to do is scan the passport and your details pop up on a screen, if your Bin Laden in disgues, in a I Love George Bush T-Shirt, your gonna get caught. Yes, sounds good, it can catch the bad guys. Yippee, easy work for the home office.
BUT No, it's not that easy! If the Police and other autherities can read the card, then so can other people, people who I don't want to read the card. As all the cards have to be able to be read by all nations, it means a standard has to be thrashed out, with standards, come published stanards, once they are published, then any one can read your passport details without you knowing? right? yes, right they can.
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Jul 9: After the dust has settled
The London bomber say they had grievances, that the West tends to have a very hypocritical policy towards the middle east, This I hear, this I understand but I don't support their way of expressing their grievances.
I will pass you over to Rachel North a survivor of the London bombing who has so eloquently expressed what I think thousands of us have felt. Read her comments on A 'completely false' sense of grievance
Jun 26: London in June
Yes, Wimbledon has started! Why can't they chose another month? August would be better? but then we might have the same issue, It's August, In London and It's Raining, Hey, must be Wimbledon!
So, Tim Henman will not be winning this year, less likely now than before, why? his only getting older and so the young blood comes in and will beat the crap out of him.
Who will win? No idea, but some one will win and all the rest will lose. simple and easy tip.
May 16: Oh dear, We IT folk are the most Stressed
So what are the other jobs? Well the folks at El Reg have a report on it, here are the results.
- IT
- Medicine/Caring Profession
- Engineering
- Sales and Marketing
- Education
- Finance
- Human Resources
- Operations
- Production
- Clerical
To go further, there are obviously far more stressful jobs, and again the folks at El Reg have delivered.
- Iraqi police recruit
- US Army bomb disposal expert
- Baghdad A&E doctor
- British Airways pilot
- Naomi Campbell's personal assistant
- Naomi Campbell's housekeeper
- Dick Cheney's shooting buddy
- Steve Ballmer's office furniture supplier
- President Bush's grammatical consultant
- Wayne Rooney's fiancée
- IT journalist
May 13: Assisted Death, Good or Bad
I personally, agree that one should be given the choice to decide when they leave this world. This is the same argument I have used over time on this issue. I am aware that this is a very emotive issue. I also do not believe in what religious folk describe as the sanctity of life, in that God gave you life, so he is the only one who can take it.
The main arguments against were the religious groups, and I have to say, people who are, I believe of strong religious background.
What is the requirement to be accepted, if one can say that, are (with my comments) Source
(2) The first condition is that the attending physician shall have
(a) been informed by the patient in a written request signed by the patient that the patient wishes to be assisted to die;
(b) examined the patient and the patient’s medical records and satisfied himself that the patient does not lack capacity;
(c) determined that the patient has a terminal illness;
(d) concluded that the patient is suffering unbearably as a result of that terminal illness;
(e) informed the patient of
(i) his medical diagnosis;
(ii) his prognosis;
(iii) the process of being assisted to die; and
(iv) the alternatives to assisted dying, including, but not limited to, palliative care, care in a hospice and the control of pain;
(f) ensured that a specialist in palliative care, who shall be a physician or a nurse, has attended the patient to inform the patient of the benefits of the various forms of palliative care,
(g) recommended to the patient that the patient notifies his next of kin of his request for assistance to die,
(h) if the patient persists with his request to be assisted to die, satisfied himself that the request is made voluntarily and that the patient has made an informed decision; and
(i) referred the patient to a consulting physician.
One thing that is beginning to offered is palliative care, this is a very good alternative to staying in the standard ward where to be honest, are not very inspiring or inspired in the care for those who are dying and know that they are. i suggest popping over to this site on the BBC (How to have a good death)
Though I think palliative care is very good and serves a very good issue for the terminally ill. But in the end, you are going to die.
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