Andy Ramblings

THE FINANCIAL CRISIS EXPLAINED IN SIMPLE TERMS:

· Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin.

· In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later.

· She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

· Word gets around, and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood Into Heidi's bar.

· Taking advantage of her customers' freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages.

Her sales volume increases massively.

· A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit.

· He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.

· At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS.

· These securities are then traded on markets worldwide.

· No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed.

· Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.

· One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently, of course, fired due to his negativity) of the bank decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar.

· However they cannot pay back the debts.

· Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy. DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95%.

· PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80%.

· The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation.

· Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.

· The bank is saved by the government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties.

· The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers.


· Finally, an explanation we understand.

It's been a long night, an even longer nightmare for the world, 8 years to be exact. Thanks to the youth of the USA, who have woken up, were inspired,  that they can change their president, that they can change the world, that they have the power to make changes. Thanks for making the change. Only on the 20th of Jan 2009 will we all wake up from the nightmare that was George W Bush. Someone who just couldn't, shouldn't have taken the role of president. I have always believed that he was actually a puppet. and Dick Chaney was the real president.

Lessons to be learnt? That religion and politics really do not mix, I don't have problem with people believing in religion, I'm pretty agnostic, but believe, let live, we all share this small planet somewhere in what we know as the universe, so why can't we, you know, just get along? Naive maybe, but we really do only have one planet. 

Anyway, enough of my ramblings, just super glad that Obama has won. There was a song that came out at the time of the fall of the Berlin Wall. I think it's a good one for today, maybe the lyrics aren't 100% correct, but the feeling is most certainly there.