New Security Measures required

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Dec 7: New Security Measures required

After an appalling incident on an internal flight in the US, where a woman who had a serious problem with flatulence wanted to hid the problem by lighting matches. Now, I know farts can be a bit wiffy, but lighting a match isn't the best of ideas if you have a methane problem, using channel 5 or something like that may have been a wiser option.
Needles to say, all the passengers got a tad worried when they didn't smell the fart, but the smell of sulphur. The plane was forced to land all passengers were searched for explosives, obviously, non were found and the poor woman was a tad embarrassed.

She had "no malicious intent but had struck matches which is against [Transport Security Administration] rules," Ms Lowrance said.

The unidentified woman had an unspecified medical condition, Associated Press news agency said.

She was carrying safety matches, which the TSA allows in carry-on luggage.

The matches are not allowed to be struck, however.
So, the new security measure now, as this has been identified as a potential terrorist threat.
The scenario is as follows.

 A***: Hey A___ (name hidden for anonymity reasons) l, you must eat two of those gallon cans of beans, all of them?
A____: But But A** I don't like beans, they make me fart!
A***: That is the master plan! You eat the beans, get on a plane with a box of safety matches, when the plane is about to take off, you let rip, and light a match, If you don't go, by the powers of Allah, the infidels will die from that awful smell you make.
A___: Wow A**
that is a cool plan, but they don't smell that bad?!

In respones to this risk, all passengers will be required to go via a Fartarium, to let rip safely before the plane leaves.

Stop press:
Fartarium in local airport blows up, some passenger went in with a lighted cigarette!

Source of inspiration here
Posted by Andy Rambling in Humour, Humour Comments: (0) Trackbacks: (0)
Defined tags for this entry: humour, only in america, travel
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