Andy Ramblings

BBC once had a TV show called 'One Man and His Dog'  This was all about shepards, their dogs and a few sheep, Trials kind of thing. Not the most interesting program, kinda program you might catch if you were off school for being ill.

Now if they did the same show, but did it this way... Watch the video... It would have been a lot more fun, and I can only guess brought in more viewers.

THE FINANCIAL CRISIS EXPLAINED IN SIMPLE TERMS:

· Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin.

· In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later.

· She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

· Word gets around, and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood Into Heidi's bar.

· Taking advantage of her customers' freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages.

Her sales volume increases massively.

· A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit.

· He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.

· At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS.

· These securities are then traded on markets worldwide.

· No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed.

· Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.

· One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently, of course, fired due to his negativity) of the bank decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar.

· However they cannot pay back the debts.

· Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy. DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95%.

· PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80%.

· The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation.

· Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.

· The bank is saved by the government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties.

· The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers.


· Finally, an explanation we understand.

Yep, very simple guide on how to convert all your Imperial measures into Metric..

Simple really yep

It's a question that has been asked, don't ask me by who, I don't know, but I'm sure it's been asked. Where are all those stars? All is explained in the nice image below.

Big News! There was a Huge earthquake here in the UK, many chimney stacks knocked of roofs. Pandemonium, as bricks hit the pavements when nobody was there. Some one could have been hurt.  Cars could have been crushed under the weight of 10 bricks. Oh yes, it was lethal some newts were woken up.

Yes, that's roughly how the media has reported it. but really nothing much happened, and yes, I did feel it last night, thought it was a rather big underground train (I live just over the northen line link between Kennington to Waterloo. so, wow!

For more information check what the BBC said.

Oh and yes, this has nothing to do with Global warming.

UPDATE:

Looks like earthquakes around the area of Mrket Rasen, there have been quite a few more over the past few years. Check out this link from the British Geological survey.

Click image to enlarge

Yep, It's Animal, there on the drums! My All time favourite  muppets of the lot. Can't add much more!

One just wonders if they got a translater for getting the meaning in context. It may be perfect, it may be good for concentrations, it also may be a camp for the olympics. But putting those 3 words together just sends out the wrong message, so wrong, from a country we know still has these camps.

Click to enlarge

Funny Videos

Well, I would have! I have no idea who advised these guys that Chat Masala was a good name for european translation. In Hindi it means 'to lick' so It's an appropriate name. However, it's not a good name to use if your going to translate into French. As per the packaging of Chat Masala in my local store. check the image.

So Chat Masala in French is Epices De Chat. This of course is so wrong, wrong in so many ways, To translate back to English you get Spices of Cat. I can't really think of a good translation, this is one lécher les épices, but that sounds rather gross.

Well, as mentioned somewhere before, I'm a fan of Dilbert. There are times when the great Scot Adam comes up with something that is, you know, just rings a true note.

Check the image....

So, best ignore pollsters as they know nothing.